Monday, June 21, 2010

That Dream Where You Can’t Scream

Last night I had that dream where…I couldn’t fight.

I have taken Karate for about four years now. My next belt level is black. I think I do a pretty decent job and really enjoy it. Do I have a fear that I won’t be able to actually defend myself when I really need it? In a real-life situation there isn’t time to think it through and your opponent isn’t accommodating. But I believe that I have a really good chance of doing some damage should I have to protect myself or my children. I’ve prepared. I’ve thought it through. I've practiced it.

Last night I had a bad dream. I was driving in the van with my children at night. I stopped the van and got out. Why did I then decide it would be a good idea to go for a jog alone? (Dreams are strange that way.) When I got not too far away I was approached by a man who started chatting with me. I stopped running and decided it was time to head back to my children. This man started following me. The dream turned very dark and I had this horrible feeling I was in a very bad situation. I got back to the van only to realize that my children had gotten out to explore a nearby ruin. (Don't ask.) I was horrified. I called for them and as they ran back to me, three more “bad guys” were by their side.

The kids piled into the van but I was faced with four opponents. I tried to fight. I tried to implement the techniques I have learned but there was no power! Just like in those dreams where you try to scream and nothing comes out, or if you manage to make a sound you can’t make it very loud and it's so frustrating. I couldn’t do any damage. I couldn’t guarantee my children’s safety.

Needless to say I woke up feeling very upset and afraid. I then closed my eyes again and tried to finish the dream where it ends in my favor and everything turns out alright. I was still feeling upset and couldn’t get back to sleep so I prayed for peace but it didn’t come until a thought occurred to me. “How am I doing in providing my children with spiritual protection?” I know what to do but is the effort I’m putting forth enough to protect them from the adversary? Am I providing them with enough power? Am I giving it enough? Clearly this is the most eminent danger that they have to face. I don’t think I have to go on to describe the evils that surround them - especially immorality via the media. At some point I will have to leave them alone. I can’t always be there to look over their shoulder. All that I can do is to teach them what is right and let them choose for themselves. No. I am not working at this hard enough. Getting by or doing the minimum or hoping they learn everything they need to know at church is not enough. I need to put forth more power, effort, and conviction at home to provide them with the spiritual protection they will need when I am not around so that they will more easily be able to resisted temptations and make correct choices. It is my responsibility to ensure that they are able to defend themselves.  “If ye are prepared, ye shall not fear” D&C 38:30

I’m sharing this in hopes that maybe it will help you learn what I learned from this dream: That in protecting our children, casual efforts are not going to be enough – especially if we think we’ve got it covered. Satan has perfected his attacks. Are you “fit to fight?”

The good news is I'll have a good visual for my "bad guy" in class today. Now I’ve got to go hit something really hard – or maybe just produce a really good scream. 


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